


Get It Through Your Head

by sidium



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Schmoop, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-09
Updated: 2012-04-09
Packaged: 2017-11-03 09:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidium/pseuds/sidium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had to get Dean out of this mindset. He had to make Dean believe that his own life was worth something, too. He had to make Dean listen. And if he had to tie him down to make that happen, well, then. So be it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get It Through Your Head

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Get It Through Your Head  
> Author: Sidium  
> Rating: PG-13  
> Warnings: SCHMOOP. Slight bondage, but it's not sexual.  
> Summary: He had to get Dean out of this mindset. He had to make Dean believe that his own life was worth something, too. He had to make Dean listen. And if he had to tie him down to make that happen, well, then. So be it.

Sam makes sure to wake up before Dean, before the first hints of sunlight start to shine through the flimsy curtain of the latest trashy motel their staying at. After going to the bathroom and checking the salt lines in front of the window and door, he glances around the room, looking for two, very specific, items. After shuffling things around a little and muttering a few choice curses, he locates them both and goes to work. Dean's still completely out of it. Sam managed to get enough painkillers in him the night before that another hour of sleep from his brother was pretty much a solid guarantee. Sam takes a moment to look at Dean. It still amazes him, even after all this time, how much he loves his brother. Even here, just standing there, watching him sleep, Sam feels like his heart is too big for his chest and it kind of stuns him. 

Shaking off the moment, Sam carefully repositions Dean in the bed. He was already laying on his side, so a gentle, but firm nudge on the shoulder easily adjusts him to laying on his back. He carefully lifts Deans left limp wrist up, not too high, he doesn't want this to be uncomfortable, and places it alongside the bedpost. Using one of the belts he collected earlier, his own, black leather worn soft; he straps Dean's wrist snugly against the post. After he finishes he tugs on the belt just a little. Perfect. Secure enough that Dean won't be able to wriggle out of it, giving enough that Dean won't accidently hurt himself when he tries. Cause God knows he's gonna try. After waiting a moment to make sure Dean was definitely not going to wake up before he was done, Sam went around the bed and repeated the procedure with Deans right wrist and Dean's own soft brown belt. 

Sam stood back to observe his work. He's glad Dean had been shirtless went he went to sleep. Trying to disrobe Dean while sleeping would've proved to be a more difficult task then tying him up. Dead weight and all that. Unfortunately, Sam thinks, the reason why Dean had slept without a shirt was the whole reason he'd come up with this little plan. Well, not the whole reason; the straw that broke the camel's back, as it were, and Sam frowns a little when his gaze locks onto the bandage on Dean's side. Just hours previously the bandage has been a crisp, sharp clinical white. Now it's still white, technically, but only in the places it wasn't beginning to soak through and mottle with blood. 

Sam had lost count of how many stitches it had taken to close up the gash on Dean's side. A memento of the knife the latest hunt had thrown at Sam; but that Dean could help but jump in front of. He estimated it had taken something like twenty or twenty five, but there had been so much blood that he wasn't really paying attention to stupid details like that. Sam's vision goes blurry with tears when he remembered how Dean had staggered around like a drunk, dizzy and confused from the blood loss, just repeating the same words over and over; "Sammy's okay." Sam wiped at his eyes. That's why he was doing this. He had to get Dean out of this mindset. He had to make Dean believe that his own life was worth something, too. He had to make Dean listen. And if he had to tie him down to make that happen, well, then. So be it. 

Sam figures the painkillers have worn off enough by now that he probably has a good chance of being able to wake Dean up without too much difficulty, so he carefully pulls the sheets down to Dean's hips. He adjusts them so they're lined up with the edge of his boxers, his muscled tan chest completely bare now, and Dean moans a little at the change. Sam runs a soothing hand across Dean's stomach and he settles back down with a small sigh. Slowly, not wanting to jostle the bed, Sam carefully climbs into the bed to position himself over Dean, one knee on either side of his thighs and he leans forward, resting his weight on the hand next to Dean's neck. Slowly, he presses warm, open mouth kisses to the side of Dean's neck and down his collarbone, his other hand gripping Dean's hipbone gently. A few minutes pass, and Sam just continues his treatment, going back and forth, retracing the initial path of his lips until he feels Dean start to shift and move underneath him. 

"'Sgoing on?" Dean's voice is still rough and slurred with sleep, and Sam smiles a little as he sucks a particularly deep bruise onto Dean's collarbone, where it meets his shoulder. "Sam?" 

Sam lifted his lips up just enough to reply back, "I'm right here, Dean." before continuing to nip at Dean's neck. Everything is calm for a moment, until Dean moves just right, and seems to have gained enough coherency to realize his current predicament. 

"Uh, Sam, why are my hands tied up?" 

"Because I don't want you to leave." 

"Why would I want to leave?" 

"Because you will." 

"Why? What are you doing?" 

"Nothing bad, I swear." 

"Let me up. Now." 

"No." 

Dean's starting to thrash a little a this point and Sam has to grip Dean's hip a little tighter to keep him from throwing Sam off completely. 

"Dammit, Sammy. What's going on?" This time, Sam can't help but hear the ever-so-slight twinge of nervousness creep into Dean's voice, despite Dean trying to cover it with irritation. Wrong direction. He figured Dean would be mad, he didn't really anticipate fear. 

"I'm not going to hurt you, if that's what you're asking." Sam pulls back just enough to look Dean in the eye. He was right about the nervousness, Dean looks slightly panicked and he keeps pulling at the belts pretty hard. Sam's grateful he checked them, otherwise, Dean would be sporting some nasty marks. "Dean, stop." Dean hesitates for a second, still tugging, but then complies, relaxing into the bed slightly. His apprehension and confusion still clear on his face. 

"It's okay, Dean. This is me. I'm not a demon or a shifter, and you know I would never hurt you, right?" Sam asks as he runs his thumb along Dean's cheekbone. After a few seconds of Dean staring, try to decide if Sam's telling the truth, probably, he sighs and visibly relaxes. "It's okay, you're safe. I promise." 

Dean manages to keep still for a little while while Sam places kisses, open, wet and loving across Dean's chest in random patterns, starting at his collarbone, working his way down to make a wet path to Dean's navel and trailing back up to his neck. Sam can feel Dean pull on his restraints occasionally, but for the most part he seems pretty comfortable. 

"So, what is this? Decided to try and get kinky on me?" Sam can hear Dean's smirk, but he doesn't retort back. Instead, he sits up, sitting on the top of Dean's thighs and meets his brother's gaze head-on. He needs Dean to know he's serious. Needs him to feel the gravity of the situation, so that he'll know that Sam isn't fucking with him. That this all isn't a joke to him. 

"No, that's not what this is, Dean." Sam speaks softly, and his gaze drops to the bandage, he traces the edge of it with one finger and gives a sigh. "This is... something else. I just need you to listen, okay?" 

Dean looks skeptical but gives a little nod. Sam notices Dean's arms twitch in the restraints as though anticipating something he knows he doesn't want to hear. Sam just sighs again and puts a hand on either side of Dean's chest, finding comfort in the heartbeat beneath his palms. He slides his hands back past Dean's shoulders and goes back to pressing worshipful kisses across lazy patterns on Dean's skin. Occasionally finding his way to Dean's lips, where they exchange shallow kisses. Despite the lack of heat in the situation, it's one of the most intimate moments they've shared and Sam is grateful Dean's not trying to get away. Yet. A few quiet minutes pass and Sam goes back to Dean's neck. He can feel tears starting to well in his eyes again, and he's too determined in his mission to feel stupid about it. He has to make Dean understand. He has to. 

"You are so beautiful." He murmurs, lips barely leaving Dean's skin long enough for Sam to speak. It was barely above a whisper, but he knows Dean heard him; can feel muscles tense beneath his lips. "I love you so much." Dean moves, readjusts himself awkwardly at Sam's words, but Sam's not worried. He waits a second and lets Dean settle back down before licking a line across Dean's hipbone. Sam's hands are slowly sliding down Dean's sides, slow enough to tease, but not light enough to tickle. It's a slow process, another ten minutes of quiet affection before Sam speaks up again. "I don't know what I'd do without you." Dean seems to figure out what Sam's up to. 

"Sam, shut up." He can apparently handle the physical part of this agenda, but not the verbal. Sam knew this was coming. Hence the belts. He just keep nipping softly at Dean's jawline. "So fucking perfect." He feels Dean press his face into the side of his arm, as though he were trying to hide from Sam's words. The belts give a soft groan as Dean pulls hard against them. 

"Sam, let me go." Dean's voice is deadly quiet. Sam sits up again, and runs his thumb across the long line of eyelashes pressed against Dean's cheek. 

"Why do you act like this, Dean?" He tries to keep his voice gentle and coaxing. Dean won't listen if he's fighting. 

"Like what?" 

"Like being told you're beautiful is more than you deserve." 

Dean goes to speak but Sam cuts him off. 

"Seriously. You keep acting like you mean nothing, and it drives me crazy. Especially when you do things like this." He places his hand over the bandage on Dean's side, careful not to apply any actual pressure. "You keep taking bullets for me, man. You gotta stop." 

"No." Dean's response is instant and there was nothing but absolute determination in his voice. 

"Why?" Sam asks desperate and confused, trying so hard to understand. 

"Because-" Dean says, but he kept his face pressed into his arm and every so often he'd pull on one of the belts again, as though he were hoping one would magically break. "Because you're... you're Sam, okay?" 

Dean's words both made sense and yet didn't. He knew Dean always felt like he had to protect Sam as a kid, but they were equals now. Dean should be over that instinct, although Sam suspected he never really would be. No matter how many beds Sam tied him to. "Dean, you don't have to protect me anymore. I can take care of myself." 

Dean doesn't reply, just keeps his face pressed to his arm and his eyes squeezed shut. He's not even trying to fight the belts anymore, hands open and limp. Sam sighs and runs a hand through Dean's hair. 

"You act like you're worth so little. It fucking hurts to see, man." Sam says. He keeps his hand stroking Dean's hair as his other hand fits a grip back on his hipbone. "You think I don't notice? When you look at me, I can see it in your eyes. It's like you don't understand why I'm here. Like I got someplace else I'd rather be." Dean squeezes his eyes shut and Sam knows for a fact that if Dean weren't strapped in place, he'd have run out of the room a while back. "I can feel it, too. When you touch me. When you fuck me. Sometimes- sometimes when you fuck me, it feels like-" Sam stops, trying to find the right words. 

"Like what?" Dean doesn't open his eyes, just whispers and tries to steady his breathing. 

"Sometimes it feels like goodbye. Like you think it's the last time we'll ever be together. The last time you'll ever have me. Like you're expecting me to leave at any moment." 

From Dean's complete silence and surrender Sam can tell he just hit the nail right on the head. 

"Dean, look at me." Sam says, voice now serious and authorative. Dean makes no attempt to move. "Dean. Look. At. Me." A few long seconds pass and finally Dean opens his eyes and meets Sam's gaze. Sam could almost gasp at how much sadness is in Dean's expression and Sam can feel his heart break a little in his chest. 

"I am never going to leave you." 

Dean huffs out a small, disbelieving laugh. 

"You did before." His voice sounds like he's fighting for control of his emotions and losing. 

"I was wrong to." Sam moves carefully and lies down next to Dean, opposite side of the injury. He puts a hand on Dean's chin and turns his head so their facing one another, eyes still locked. "I swear I will never leave you. You don't have to try to always protect me to get me to stay. I love you. You should know that by now. I can't imagine what my life would be like without you in it. Because you're beautiful and smart and funny and worth so much more than you think you are. You have to believe me, Dean. You have to." 

Sam leans over and captures Dean's face in a soft kiss. He feels Dean suppress a sob, and suddenly the belts are the worst things ever and totally unnecessary. Sitting up quickly, Sam undoes each belt, fumbling more times than he'd like to admit. Dean's hands immediately reach for Sam and pull him close. Neither of them speaks, just holds onto to the other like they're their only lifeline. After what feels like hours, or maybe it's only been minutes, Dean finally breaks the silence. 

"I love you, too." 

Sam smiles against Dean's neck and he knows this is only the beginning, that it's gonna take a lot more coaxing and fighting to get Dean to understand how beautiful and valued he is, but Sam's okay with that. He's got time, he's not going anywhere.


End file.
